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Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Why I Create.

Reading some very interesting art-related topics from an artist here on Deviantart.com, whom I've been watching for several years now, Jessica M. Parker... She brings up a lot of really good points, one of which made me take pause and really consider 'why' I create art....what drives me as an artist.

Like a lot of artists out there who create from their heart and soul, my first thought is not money. My first thought is my vision...I get an idea in my head and then I turn on my mental photoshop program in my mind, and start 'building' it. I literally imagine it in my mind so that I can truly see it. I try out different colors 'till I hit on one I like. I add or delete various shapes and/or design components 'till I hit on that perfect mixture of elements. And as time goes on, that design is subject to change at my whim. I may decide I want a different color, or to go with glitter vs gems, etc. Or peacock instead of pheasant feathers. When that happens, I pull up that mental program again and start redesigning that mask.

But that's the 'how'...not the 'why', which is what I want to talk about for a moment.

My reasons for creating art, sadly, are purely selfish. I get this idea in my head...sometimes it's a brilliant flash of inspiration, sometimes it's the full-out image slowly being drawn out. But it's not enough for me to just design and create this 'thing' in my head where only I can see it and where it's still a very malleable thing and always at the risk of being only half-remembered or utterly forgotten.

...Never fully realized.
I need to actually create it out in the real world. It's literally a drive...an instinctual drive. I am driven to 'create'.
I want to create this awesome and beautiful thing that lives only in my mind's eye...I want to make it real so that I can see it for myself in the real world, so that I can hold it, and maybe even wear it...so that I can show it off to other people and see the awe and delight in their faces and eyes as they hold and look and wear it.
I want to prove to myself that I can, indeed, create something beautiful and interesting. Something fun and glamorous. It's a challenge...I get to busy my mind with the challenge of designing something that I've never before seen. That, to my knowledge, no one else has ever before seen, either. It's an exercise for my mind and my hands and eyes.
But mainly, it's the drive. I see it in my mind and so I 'must' then create it and share it with you all.

And also....to be honest, a lot of the masks and garlands and wings that I create are because I have a costume in mind that I want to wear it for. I create a lot of things for myself. I want to look pretty and I want my costume to look amazing -whatever it might be, so I create for myself what I think would help to accomplish that goal.

And further, I'm a poor artist. I'm a poor person. I can't afford to buy other artist's amazing work. So I make my own to fulfill whatever need I may have at that moment.


The first mask I ever made was out of a necessity. I was invited to a Yule Masquerade Ball. I was 17yrs old and didn't have any money to go out and buy a beautiful mask. So I made one for myself and one for a friend. And that's where it all began...